Perhaps it would be best we started this conversation by telling you we think Professor Henry Louis Gates (“Skip” we call him) is the cat’s pajamas. That said, we in no way feel it invalidates our cable-news fatigued thoughts on all this black-man-arrested-for-yelling hullabaloo. All this to say listen to us with bias alert in the on-position. (We vaguely remember our president shared this same disclaimer, while he was talking about health care or something, but unlike him we have no delusions that our words won’t be twisted into a completely tangential context).

Let us all concede this: non-white man plus cop has never been partyfuntime, because we know it’s true and because a few months ago we all thought that Dave Chapelle joke was hilarious. But more important, giant NYPD stick dangling from waist plus unchecked testosterone-fueled authority equals worst Halloween costume for Brooklyn, ever. Black men often do not respect police officers and police officers often shoot black men; balance in absurdity. Ultimately we think this is the lesson here: the refined, discretionary authority some might associate with the police uniform is now locked in Andy Griffith’s Mayberry and in black and white movies (we remember “Forteen Hours,” the one where New York cop Paul Douglas talks average Joe Richard Basehart off a ledge, for like the entire movie. Yes, black people watch TCM).

We love cop shows, we’ve seen them all and, yes, we used to watch New York Undercover (mostly because we liked the rooftop chases), but real cops give us the hibbies. Perhaps we have to also mention we’ve never seen the inside of a jail cell except for that episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air were Carlton and Will get arrested for driving while black. If one presidency could fix our at best shady perception of flesh and blood cops it’d be pretty awesome. We had hoped the president’s wading into these waters was an invitation to that conversation. Color us wrong.

We could tell you a host of other things to take away from this splinter of teachable moments – like presidents don’t talk about their buddies at press conferences (particularly press conferences about health care reform that would make us Canadian thin), every college professor has a “yo’ mama” joke waiting to be unleashed so beware, the media is to blame completely for stoking this story in the race direction, arresting men who ride tricycles and walk with canes is never not-stupid, etc.–but most importantly we just wanted to say that for us, the concept of the rational policeman is just a TV show, in technicolor. And we all know black folk look terrible in technicolor.

So if you walk away with any message from this message let it be this: Dave Chapelle, we miss you man. (And yes we saw the Daily Show’s take on this last night…meh).

Amidst the noisy media coverage, though something else happened. Car radios began blasting “Thriller” regularly as I walked to the subway every evening. The Harlem street vendors made way for Michael amidst the Obamamania. Facebook profile pictures released Fierce Michael, Jackson 5 Michael, Jeri-curl Michael, Bad Michael, Dangerous Michael. The array was endless and we washed ourselves in it. Washed ourselves clean of those years of forgetting, those years of shame because you thought at least one person would respect your sparkling gloves for Halloween.

It has been a long time since it was cool to like Michael Jackson. That pride in Michael’s singular accomplishments were feared forever ravaged and every vulture it seemed could come and pick at the remains; this or that tabloid with another “exclusive” interview with Michael’s latest “best friend;” a certain factually-hazy documentary that earned its creator a primetime slot on Nightline. Michael seemed lost a long time ago and since a lot of people are not prepared to lose him twice, a divide is growing. Michael’s death draws a clear line in the sand.  Some say let him finally rest in peace, this far with your derisive words, and no farther. Others seem to think even in death another Michael Jackson joke harms no one. Despite it all, Michael’s was a beautiful story. He came, he had not, he believed, and as Maya Angelou’s poem recounted beautifully, “he gave us all he had been given.”

As the first Latina woman nominated for the Supreme Court walks her plank toward the bench, and Barack Obama finds yet another American genius with a moving story for Surgeon General in Regina Benjamin, now more than ever we remember that story is everything. The story of Michael Jackson is one of many I’ve been thinking about recently, along with that of Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Regina Benjamin, Sonia Sotomayor, Eric Holder, Charles Bolden. These are all names of people who will not sell platinum records, appear at the BET Awards, ever be arrested with guns in the trunk, and God-willing, never find themselves on a red-eye to Argentina to meet a mistress. These are American stories too, and for once they come with faces of color. It was a pleasure to have Michael Jackson, but only because it meant a future that could look like this. This is what his advocates celebrate when they wear a T-shirt, update a Facebook status, download that song they had forgotten they liked.  So stop asking them when it will be “OK” to go back to making fun of Michael Jackson. The answer is never.

A friend recently said to me that America is “balance in absurdity;” you take the good with the bad because at the end of the day that means every American story matters. True to that absurdity, the Obama Show of Inspiring American Stories appears alongside news cycles such as the story of a pool in Pennsylvania where children were turned away by the bigotry of adults, simply for the color of their skin. As the parents of these children try their hardest to explain to them why, and how exactly, America has changed since the same thing happened to their grandparents, one hopes they will have more stories to pull from. It does not have to be the story of Michael Jackson, although a worthy one, it can be the story of a wise Latina Supreme Court nominee, or a mustachioed attorney general.

Yes, the American story is wonderful. Or at least it can be. Don’t let the chatter distract – when Barack Obama says empathy, some say prejudice, when Sonia Sotomayor says wise Latina, some want you to hear an oxymoron. But it is only birth pains. Into the official story of America is being woven new heroes, in real time, with stories as bold as any other involving cherry trees or liberty bells. It is not an easy process. America as the proverbial man has only just begun to look in the mirror, the scary thing is he’s trying to drive forward, save the economy, fight a war, and avoid a shameful legacy of leadership at the same time, so it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

But don’t worry, you can play Thriller all the way to the other side. There are seven hit singles on that thing!

For $20 dollars an hour, Stephen Tyrone Johns, a security guard at the Holocaust Memorial Museum until last Wednesday, was shot dead in the line of duty. He had but seconds to ponder the question, what would you die for? Facing a hail of hatred-fueled gunfire, assisted by fellow guards paid no more than he, Johns stopped a determined mass murderer intent on voluminous destruction of human life. A murderer who succeeded only in taking the life of a father.

Sometimes it is difficult to tell if the current information overload we all experience as a result of more available points of access is a good thing or not. The stories we hear are often the ones we want, and the stories we need to hear often require a very targeted digging through the haystack of information. I heard of the shooting via email alert, talking on the phone at the time with my boss who got her notification by mobile phone. It’s all very “Star Trek.” Mr. Johns’ name, however, did not come to me by email, by text message, or over my cable news diet (admittedly shrinking post-election. Why do they all scream so much?). It came to me in a letter of apology from the killer’s son, where I read the word “brave” for the first time as a distraught son apologized for an unforgivable deed admitting that Johns “bravely sacrificed his life to stop my father.”

When Captain Sully landed in the Hudson we were quickly on friendly terms with him. We were quickly shown reenactments of his heroic feat. Is Mr. Johns’ salary not death defying enough to warrant 3D re-telling? Are the brave actions of his fellow guards, still nameless to me, not worthy of cable news speculation? I know Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck think the killer was politically left-leaning. I read the Left wants the revised version of Homeland Security’s once-lambasted report on domestic threats hastened. I know Fox News’ Shepard Smith got a lot of unfriendly emails for standing up for the report. I know the Army is being more careful about recruiting potential nuts. But after all this I do not know the names of the fellow guards who made a decision to stand and defend; I am not regaled with tales of how they carried out this honorable, noble response to their call of duty.

There is no denying that the hatred which sparked this terrible incident needs to be examined thoroughly and in the light of news coverage for all to see. However, there must be a significant space made in that coverage for the people who were prepared to give their lives for the very ideals being espoused in endless editorials and let’s-talk-about-hate articles (because hate is the new black) and blog rantings about the “Obama effect” on domestic terrorism. We are spending too much time focusing on a horrible old coward who valued no life, not even his own.

My last visit to the Holocaust Memorial Museum was in high school as part of a senior class trip. My boss’ first reaction to the news was a gasp at the possibility of children on school trips inside the museum. The thought of what could have happened is frightening. Focusing on that fear does nothing for the future of defeating hate. There is a myriad of reasons why we would be uncomfortable telling this story; someone died, after all. It’s not landing a plane in the Hudson. Someone died. However, if we are going to watch reality TV based on the lives of this or that has-been (be sure to catch MC Hammer’s new reality show), if we’re going to make a new “Twitter” graphic every time Ashton Kutcher name drops in a tweet, if we are going to gawk into the lives of vapid “real” housewives in New Jersey, or Orange County, or Atlanta, or wherever, we certainly have some attention span for three security guards who for no more than $20 an hour stood toe to toe with a maniac and saved countless lives.

A statement from the museum’s chief of staff sheds salient light: “Never take your guard force or your security people for granted.” We celebrate a lot of fake heroes in this country; one would assume we’d jump at a chance to celebrate such clear cut ones. Or maybe I missed the point, maybe you don’t get to be an American hero if your name is Tyrone.

“The authenticity of funk is generally proportional to the agility of one’s groove,” says Professor Anita Mayfield, Dean of Funkology at the Funkadelic Institute, one of the consultants on the report. “Every funk scholar is clear on the fact that groove is all in the hips.” Professor Mayfield says the report was drafted not to be damning or a challenge to the singer’s religion, which firmly frowns on blood transfusions, an essential step in the double-hip replacement surgery. “We wanted a clear record of the effects the loss of Prince’s hips would have on African American culture and morale.” The picture is not pretty. While the report does not predict a complete loss it projects a loss of funk to black culture of at least 15%.

“That’s a shame man,” says Little Ray Brown, aspiring singer on the corner of Lexington and 125th street in Harlem, “How that man suppose to make love to the guitar with no hips? It’s impossible.” Brown suggests Prince consider fixing one hip, less blood to transfuse. “Least that way he can slide up against the thing slow or something.”

While the FBBI report claims to have much empirical data to support its assertions, some Prince supporters refuse to buy into its findings. “How exactly do you loose funk?” asks Joseph, an avid fan waiting in line to purchase Prince’s latest release, the well-received “LotusFlow3r.”

“I mean this man put Kirstie Alley on an album and it was still funky!”

In a statement released to History professors all over the country, History made clear that it will no longer side with the Republican Party.

“I’m fed up with them! Republicans are making me look bad,” said History. “Hey, I assisted in helping Republicans end slavery, I even brought down that damn wall Reagan needed me to do, and this is what I get.  First Bush, then Rush, now Cheney? Oh, hell no!”

Immediately, Republican Chairman Michael Steele put out statement. “ We are sad to see History leave our coalition, but we do not need History on our side. We have already made History with my being elected Chairman of the RNC.”

History responded quickly, “Please, you think I’m gonna pass on siding with the first African American President of the United States? Now that’s called making real history…some would even call it historic…go figure.”

After plummeting approval ratings, analysts say the Republican party can’t afford to lose History’s blessing. Jon Childress, a pollster and historian thinks the Republican party should try to mend its rift with History.

“They need to do anything they can, even if it means electing a one-legged blind half African, half Mexican female who’s middle name is Osama. If that’s what it takes to get back in everyone’s favor,” said Childress.

Although History is excited about the what’s next, he is going to let it play out like everyone else. “ I don’t know what the Future holds. I haven’t spoken to her [Future] in a while. But last thing I heard was that she voted for Obama,” said History.

“Since releasing his first audio tape, Osama’s love of broadcasting has only increased,” says a publicist who spoke on behalf of Bin Laden. “NBC’s upcoming Leno/Conan lineup clearly indicates the late night variety show format is on fire, and let’s face it, the poignancy of the anti-American message is beginning to fade. So Osama sees this as an exciting new opportunity to take his broadcasting career to the next level.”

Intelligence officials say that production of the new program is in an advanced stage of development. So much in fact, that a copy of an early pilot has said to have been delivered to the Al-Jazeera network for review. A purported partial copy of a transcript of this pilot was recently sent to Blackline, and is printed below.

[Audience Applause]

Bin Laden: Thank you, thank you. You are much too kind. It’s great to be broadcasting from this undisclosed location. Man, everyone’s got an undisclosed location these days.

They say they recently found a coffin inside of former vice president Cheney’s undisclosed location. Did anyone hear about this? This is a big news story in America.

The Washington, D.C. Police Department was about to open a murder investigation but they were able to contact Cheney who explained that it was just his old bed.

[laughter]

Boulos (Band Leader): That’s a big news story in America huh?

Bin Laden: Yes Boulos, I’m surprised no one has heard about it.

[Boulos continues to laugh]

Bin Laden: Ha ha! eeeeeeeee.

Boulos: eeeeeeee.

Bin Laden: Man it was hot out there in Kabul today.

Boulos: Oh yeah?

Bin Laden: Yeah, it was really hot. It was so hot, that a couple guys were martyred today, got to paradise, and instead of asking for 72 virgins, they said they’d settle for 72 virgin daiquiris.

[laughter]

Bin Laden: It was that hot… Death to America!

[continued laughter]

Boulos: You always get that in there don’t you?

Bin Laden: Yes, yes. No but I kid. I love America. America is the only place where the president can torture anyone he wants, the vice president can shoot people in the face in broad daylight, a man can murder a doctor at church because he says it will please God, and we’re still the terrorists!

[laughter]

Bin Laden: Am I right?

[continued laughter and applause]

Bin Laden: We’ve got a great show for you tonight. Mahmoud Zahar of Hamas will be joining us.

[applause]

Bin Laden: Mohammed Omar from the Taliban will be here.

[applause]

Bin Laden: And, the star of the upcoming film “Land of the Lost,” Will Ferrell will be here to talk about his new movie. All of that coming up.

[musical interlude and commercial break]

Bin Laden: And we’re back. Joining us first on the program tonight, one of the funniest people alive, ladies and gentlemen Will Ferrell.

[Will Ferrell enters]

Bin Laden: How are you doing, sir?

Ferrell: I’m good, I’m good. Man loving the Middle East.

Bin Laden: Oh yeah? Was this undisclosed location hard to find?

Ferrell: Not at all. I got in a cab at the airport. The driver asked me where I wanted to go, and I said “I don’t know”. Then he took me right here.

[laughter]

Ferrell: I’d give former vice president Cheney directions, but he’d probably waterboard me for not planning a route through Iraq.

[laughter]

Bin Laden: Everyone’s got a Cheney joke!

Ferrell: That’s right!

Bin Laden: So tell us a little bit about the film.

Ferrell: OK, it’s called “Land of the Lost,” and basically I play a scientist who ends up stuck in a strange tropical world where time doesn’t exist, and there’s a mysterious army on the rampage looking to imprison us.

Bin Laden: So it takes place at Guantanamo?

[laughter]

Ferrell: You are funny!

Bin Laden: Thank you! So you’ve brought a clip with you, do you want to set it up?

Ferrell: So in this scene, me and a fellow scientist are at a tourist attraction and cause an explosion which takes us to the Land of the Lost.

Bin Laden: How many people did you kill?

Ferrell: No one.

Bin Laden: So what was the explosion for?

Ferrell: It was a mistake.

Bin Laden: OK, this film already doesn’t seem very realistic. I mean all you have to do is lace the bomb with a little plutonium-238 and you’ve got yourself a beautiful dirty bomb.

Ferrell: The film isn’t about terrorism, it’s a summer action/comedy film. You know just a fun little diversion.

Bin Laden: So would you say you’re declaring a Jihad on boredom?

Ferrell: Well, I don’t know if I’d say that…

Bin Laden: I’m just kidding you man!

[laughter]

Bin Laden: OK, here’s a clip from “Land of the Lost” which starts Friday in the US, and opens in Kabul in the summer of 2011.

[Transcript fragment ends here]

Ronald Burke, a car wash attendant in Atlanta, Georgia says that in lieu of tips he has begun to operate almost exclusively on a “hook-up” basis. “You know I used to get fellas coming through all the time dropping me a 10, or a 20, sometimes even a 50 [dollar bill] if they wanted to impress a lady. Now these doods come through asking if they can hit me back later. I got mad at first, but then I started telling them to just hook it up when I need them to.”

Burke says he was initially skeptical, but later realized the benefits of the new system. “Now I got the hookup everywhere. My boy Big Mike down at Subway just hooked me up with a $5 foot long for the job I did on his Navigator, Pootie down the street hooked up some T.I. tickets the other week, and my man down at the club hooks up the 2 for 1 every night. It’s a whole lot better than the change I used to hold down.”

But while this new “hook-up” based economy may benefit some, critics say it hurts the national economy as a whole. “You have these people benefiting from a system which, well let’s call it what it is, it’s nothing but stealing. That certainly counteracts any upward gains the economy struggles to make,” says Dr. Stephen Whiteman of the National Economics Institute.

The facts seem to bolster Whiteman’s claim. A “hook-up” transaction, in which an employee of a business grants special purchases or privileges to a friend or family member in exchange for other in kind services, tends to hurt the bottom line of most companies. Over the past 2 years “hook-ups” have accounted for 85 percent of urban transactions, nevertheless the vast majority of the “hooked-up” goods and services failed to appear on any official inventory documents. This represents a total loss for businesses. But some will tell you that the economic impact of hook-ups is nearly irrelevant.

“Where was economics when I lost half my paycheck? Where was economics when they took Mom’s pension? Oh, it wasn’t nowhere then, but now that I got something it’s all up in my grill,” Burke says.

Indeed, his family’s financial situation has grown quite grim over the past few years. Last year, Burke lost his job at an auto assembly plant, a job he had held for 12 years. Shortly thereafter he moved in with his ailing mother as a result of her pension being swallowed by medical bills.

But with the incoming presidential administration seemingly comes a new sense of optimism to the nation’s urban centers. While in the past, politicians’ words have gone unlistened to in these areas, the Obama administration seems to command a new type of authority stemmed from an authenticity never before realized in urban America.

Burke initially said that he had only a passing knowledge of the president’s plans and promises on healthcare and the economy, but when given the details his mood suddenly changed. “Obama said that? Straight up? Damn… well I guess that boy just hooked me up with some of that hope. On the real.”

While Burke appears momentarily lifted by Obama’s rhetoric, it won’t be long until reality once again steps in. Living up to the rhetoric is a bit more complicated than hooking up a $5 foot long Subway sandwich. Hopefully, for the sake of billions of people around the world affected by the economy, the Obama administration will be able to “hook-up” an economic fix, with as much ease and finesse as Big Mike down at the Subway.

While the subject of the Civil Rights movement of the 1960’s is no stranger to film and television, for the first time the struggles of Black visual artists are being told through an exciting new documentary entitled “Colored Frames.”  The film, directed by Lerone D. Wilson and produced by Nonso Christian Ugbode, was recently released for free viewing online.

“Colored Frames” chronicles the struggles of African American artists for visibility and acceptance over the past 75 years. The dark tales of racism and oppression in the art world from a variety of artists young and old is counterbalanced by the vibrant imagery of their works, which range in style from impressionistic collage to abstract surrealism. “It was important that rather than simply being a collection of nice pictures, the film at the same time explore the core of the African American experience both historically, and today. Only this way can the audience truly understand and appreciate these works,” said Wilson. Ugbode added, “I’m not saying good films haven’t been made, but I believe that there is room in the celebration of Black History for new interpretations of that history. If only because history up until recently has been documented by the same people.”

This marriage of striking imagery, with honest discussion of the artist’s role in the modern sociopolitical climate, is underscored by the experimental jazz stylings of French born pianist and composer Magali Souriau and her world famous trio in a first-time collaboration with cellist/composer Lenae Harris. Rather than a traditional scoring of the film, the artists were asked to respond to a series of thoughts and artistic images from the film; the resulting film score is as unique and flavorful as the visual images seen on screen.

The importance of the film is underscored by the recent death of legendary artist Benny Andrews, to whom the film is dedicated. “Colored Frames” serves not only as an entertainment piece, but also as a social document which brings to the forefront the works of a long ignored people. As Andrews states in the film, the goal of the artist is to pass forward the influences of others. “Colored Frames” is the realization of Andrews’ words. It acknowledges Black art as a vibrant and much-alive cornucopia of strong themes, vibrant ideas, and ‘colored frames.’

Boondoggle Films is the brainchild of esteemed filmmaker Lerone D. Wilson, a New York University graduate holding degrees in both Film & Television, and Economics. He served as Executive Producer, Director, and Editor of ‘Colored Frames’, his 3rd long length documentary film. This is a first time documentary collaboration between himself and Producer Nonso Christian Ugbode, a native
of Nigeria, West Africa and an accomplished theater director, also an NYU alumnus.

You can watch the film online at http://www.boondogglefilms.com/coloredframes.php