History To Republicans: I’m not on your side anymore!

After observing the almost fatal collapse of the United States government, and the passionate contentious election in 2008, History finally made it’s decision on which party it will join forces with.

In a statement released to History professors all over the country, History made clear that it will no longer side with the Republican Party.

“I’m fed up with them! Republicans are making me look bad,” said History. “Hey, I assisted in helping Republicans end slavery, I even brought down that damn wall Reagan needed me to do, and this is what I get.  First Bush, then Rush, now Cheney? Oh, hell no!”

Immediately, Republican Chairman Michael Steele put out statement. “ We are sad to see History leave our coalition, but we do not need History on our side. We have already made History with my being elected Chairman of the RNC.”

History responded quickly, “Please, you think I’m gonna pass on siding with the first African American President of the United States? Now that’s called making real history…some would even call it historic…go figure.”

After plummeting approval ratings, analysts say the Republican party can’t afford to lose History’s blessing. Jon Childress, a pollster and historian thinks the Republican party should try to mend its rift with History.

“They need to do anything they can, even if it means electing a one-legged blind half African, half Mexican female who’s middle name is Osama. If that’s what it takes to get back in everyone’s favor,” said Childress.

Although History is excited about the what’s next, he is going to let it play out like everyone else. “ I don’t know what the Future holds. I haven’t spoken to her [Future] in a while. But last thing I heard was that she voted for Obama,” said History.

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