Was that a Debate, or a Lakers Game?

I never liked the Lakers. They were a team of stars, playing for a stadium of celebrities, and I considered it my job to root against their apparent perfection. That was until 2004.

Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want them to win. I preferred the team ball played by the Detroit Pistons, and admittedly the first championship season in many years hearkened back the days of Zeke, The Spider, The Worm, The Microwave, 007, cheating Laimbeer, and a normal Dennis Rodman (if you’re from Detroit you know what all of this means).

But I have to admit, in 2004 I enjoyed watching the Lakers play because of Shaq and Kobe. Shaq and Kobe represented everything we liked about Laverne and Shirley, Turner and Hooch, and even Harold and Kumar. They were inseparable, and an amazing team to watch.

Imagine my surprise when I tuned into what was billed as a debate between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton on ABC, and found what appeared to be a rerun of an old Lakers game. However, in place of Kobe dazzling viewers with his superior ball control and perimeter shooting, only to feed it in to Shaq, I saw Charlie Gibson playing point guard to Hillary Clinton, who like Shaq, just stood around the basket waiting for the easy dunk.

Charlie had some serious handles. He asked questions relating to Obama scandals that I hadn’t even heard of, and I try to keep up with these things. Nevermind that most were completely unsubstantiated, and the others (i.e. Jeremiah Wright and ”bitter” remarks) had been responded to by Sen. Obama many times.

Like Kobe, Charlie was unrelenting. He asked follow up after follow up until he could get the ball inside to Clinton for the easy basket. Of course Clinton showed as much creativity on court as Shaq did when he stood in the key the whole game and dunked. For Hillary, it was a litany of rebuts to the effect of “and this is exactly why the Republicans and John McCain will make Obama wet himself, and cry in the general election.”

Now, every now and then Charlie would get tied up, and have to pass the ball off to his boy George Stephanopoulos, a man who owes his career to his former employer, Bill Clinton. But the play was always the same. Set Hillary up for the easy attack.

Oh, and lets not forget my favorite question of the night, which came after beating the Rev. Wright horse dead a few times. “Does Rev. Wright love America as much as you?” Wow… Welcome to America, I guess.

But you know what, I don’t blame Clinton, Gibson, Stephanopoulos, or ABC. I completely blame Barack Obama (what a twist!). Come on Barack. I knew this whole thing was a trap, and I like to think you’re much smarter than me, so whats up with that? You were the only one in that room with something to lose. You know Hillary is a better debater, heck you didn’t even need this debate. Why did you agree to it in the first place, especially a week out from the primary?

Stop making this primary longer than it needs to be. It could’ve ended weeks ago in Texas/Ohio, just as it could end next week. However, it seems like you’re putting substantial effort into dragging it out as long as possible.

People have said that you’re inexperienced, and I’ve been reluctant to admit it. I don’t doubt you have the experience necessary to run the country, but I do seriously doubt you have the experience to run a campaign. Don’t get me wrong, I still think Hillary is out, but come on – this doesn’t help anything, especially since it looks like what appears to be the makings of a botched Pennsylvania contest.

How many times do you have to shoot yourself in the foot before you put the gun down? The Pistons beat the seemingly infallible Lakers in 2004, in an exciting five game series. But after winning game five, they most certainly didn’t play another one just for the heck of it.

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